Thursday, April 29, 2010

RAIN NOT MAKE BEST PLANS

Is raining in Tehran this morning. Sometimes this causes problem for everyday people, but for salute guy is not challenge so much at all! I still bring you story of great value on this day.

I speak yesterday about something we call "Departure Ceremony of Presidential Power Transfer," again not exact translation. Today I continue on subject some more, so you infidels begin understand sheer power of greatest Iranian nation on all of earth!

After Mahmoud Ahmadinejad finish reading from Quran and hands it back to salute guy for long safe keeping, we proceed out of airport's porch down a carpeted pathway, to a special place we use for conducting ceremony of departure:

PLACE PHOOT HERE-->

This tent is our glorious Preparation for Presidential Departure And Transfer of Iranian Power Station, or "Abdul," as we call it. Here is where real magic happens: I stand guard behind President and Vice President of Iran, most powerful men in most powerful nation over all of the whole earth, and I salute. And when salute happens, honor guard read special ceremony in front of "Abdul" about responsibilities of running Iran and answering to Ayatollah always when he call. Once President and Vice President read their oaths, POW!!!!! Greatest thing in all of land happens.

Power of presidential office explodes out of Mahmoud's ear, leaps through the air, and jumps into the awaiting ear of vice president, who receives power in his head to carry out over all of the land while Mahmoud travel into infidel land!

And let me tell you infidel, if I didn't hear power explode so loudly like that, I wouldn't even believe it for myself -- but it does, so it true.

In fact, sometimes when I daydreaming, I dream power lands in my ear, and I accidentally President of All Iran. Would be a funny thing, if were not such a serious and treasonous offense!

But anyway, there you go. That most powerful transfer in all of most powerful country over all of earth, and you infidels can now proceed to quiver on your lowly knees! But wait! Is still not over!!

After power is transferred to Vice President, Iran still need make sure that Mahmoud behave while he on travel. So we march both men back down carpeted pathway to Presidential Flag over All Iran, and have them both say another oath in front of Allah and all of the land about how Mahmoud promise not make touchy with infidel ladies, and Vice President promise not burn down all of Iran in revolt. To lock in deal, both bow in front of flag, which make it official.

PLACE PHOTO HERE-->

This, you infidel, is correct way to conduct business in civilized country, and most advanced nation over all of the Earth, that is Tehran Iran, will certainly lead way when we conquer all of your evil and dirty lands!

I will only also say this: In parallel to Ceremony of Presidential Departure To Infidel Lands, we also have Presidential Arrival Ceremony From Lands Of Infidel. Again not exact translation, but close enough. This ceremony is exact reverse of one I describe to you above, except there no walking backwards or anything crazy like that. Is all forwards, and Presidential Power over All Iran is safely transfered back to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, where it is most safely belongs.

Is all I can share with you now, lowly infidel. I now must put on my brave for the rain and proceed direct to conference room, where I have busy day of instruction and meetings with all of the most powerful men of most powerful nation in all of the earth.

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