FROM INFIDEL TO SALUTE GUY: A QUESTION!

Since I suffer lag of plane, I answer first question from reader in Inbox:

My dear Salute Guy,

I've been wondering - do you get to know Mahmoud pretty personally? I mean like, do you ever taste his food or pick out his shampoo or anything interesting like that? Does he have any favorite western brands? I bet my friends that he prefers Pepsi to Coke. Do you prefer Pepsi or Coke? Anyways, thanks for all your tales.

Take care,

Graham

To which I answer,

Dearest infidel Graham,

I work with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad long time, since he was elevated for office by glorious Iranian people all across greatest Iranian land in year 1384, or 2005 infidel years. In these years, we travel all across the whole entire earth together, so natural that we get introduced to each other more and more.

His favorite food Khoresht-e-Esfenaj-o Aloo, soup made of spinach and prunes, served with helping of lamb Dolme Barg Mow. He ask me taste it often, especially when bodyguard his not on trip. I always enjoy opportunity help Mahmoud taste his food, and he like me so much, I always get first bite!!!

WE THAT CLOSE!!!!-->

(Wow, arrow work without saying INSERT PHOTO?)

Dearest Mahmoud not enjoy western brands of Great Satan at all, but has large collection of scarves called "Burr berry." Not sure what kind berry this is, but makes for very scratchy scarf. I no understand evils of Western world!! As far as western drinks go, we Iranians spit on it all!!! Nothing beat taste of cold Doogh goat yogurt in heat of hot afternoon, I say!

Thank you for writing, infidel Graham! I hope I answer all question well!